Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Worth

Lately I have been stressed out, everyday I wake up to go jogging, go to school, go home to work on homework/go to photography club, go to San Jac/go to work, come home and study for one of my many test I always seem to have. And on top of that, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have been pulling out my hair just to think what next?

Lately I have been trying a new type of photography, aka lomography, and well it seems to be the only thing grounding me right now.






I haven't been trying to hard to think about what to take, there is no really planning, just push the switch. It got me thinking, I really shouldn't try to plan everything out this very minute, instead I should enjoy my senior year. So instead of stressing, pulling out my hair, and praying to God for a B. I'm just going to push that switch.

PS I got my first random stranger add on flickr! <3

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

:/

The recent gay suicides, six this month alone, has just broke my heart. This teens range for 13 to 19. Gay teens are four times more likely to attempt suicide than straight teens. Horrible, yes, but it's the society we live in, it's wrong to be gay, it's a sin. I had a hard time with these topics when I was in the closet, and spent a long time about just ending it all, too. Lucky I decided to talk to my friend before I did anything. If there is anyone who is reading who is going though a hard time, I doubt there is, but you are not alone. And I know you heard it all before, it gets better, which it does, but instead I will give you these.
Things to look forward to:
-Graduating.
-College.
-First love.
-First club.
-Prom.
-Graduating from college.
-Getting a career.
-Falling in love with the person you meant to.
-Marriage. (yes it's legal in New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, and Vermont)
-Having a child.
-Watching your baby grow up.
-Watch your poor sweet baby graduate.
-Retire.
-Meeting your grandchild.
-Growing old.
-Growing old with the ones who love you.
-Happiness.

Death is never an option.
If you feel like it is, talk to me
http://www.facebook.com/mrwires92
areinhardt12@yahoo.com
or you can call toll-free at the Trevor Project.
(866) 4-U-TREVOR
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Blast from the Past: Fourth Grade


Here we go again, once more with embarrassing, horrible, lovely, beautiful details of my sad years of school. Fourth grade wasn't really any of those things though, mainly just another year of school. Well actually there was one thing, you see my birthday is during the summer, therefore I never really had that whole, big party with a bunch of adoring friends, and a giant moonwalk. So my mother, my poor stupid witted mother, thought it would good to throw thing big amazing party, where all my "friends" would show up, and there would be clowns, balloons, and a giant moonwalk. She went all out, and I was so excited, finally a day where people come to celebrate me! I invited everyone, all the kids in my class, all the kids in the other classes, Billy from speech therapy, hell I basically made posters.

So it wasn't that much of a shocker when no one showed. And I mean no one, even Billy was too cool for that shit. I was disappointed, but my mom was the one I felt really sorry for, she spent all that money, all that time and effort, for me, and my cousins. So for her sake, I pretended I didn't notice, and enjoyed myself, even though it killed me that no one showed.

Jump back a year before that, when my neighbor, who always wore a green suit to work, came home, shot his gay lover, and hanged himself. For that reason, the house was for sale for awhile. That's when they moved in.

Jump back to the failed birthday party, we were hitting the pinata, and my neighbor's kids were just watching us. That's when my dad came up to me:

Dad: "Why don't you invite them over?" He was drunk, and only down for the weekend, for my sad birthday party.
Me: "I don't know them".
Dad: "Just invite them, and pretend they are your friends, I mean come on Arron, this is just sad, no one showed."

I fight back the tears, and thought, "Why the fuck not?"
So I walked to the fence, where they were, and asked:

Me: "Wanna come over?" There were four of them, one seemed like four, the other six, one was around my brother's age, like eight? And the last one, he was my age, he was actually in my class, both of us, terribly shy.
The four year old: "Plezz brodar?" He was asking the one in my grade, I couldn't remember his name.
The six year old: "Can we?"
The eight year old said nothing but looked at the oldest.
Oldest: "Sure." He just stared at me.
Me: "I'm Arron."
Four: "Frank!"
Six: "James."
Brother's age: "John."
Oldest: "Julio" he continued to stare.

They came over, and I didn't give them the time of the day, but my family sure did. They treated them better than me. Which was weird. Then the party ended and everyone left, but before they left, my parent praised them, and gave them all the goodie bags.

The next day I was sitting in my tree reading the BFG for the thousandth time. It was a beautiful day, nice and cold. Just then, right before the BFG took Sophie, Julio came riding up to my tree on his bike.

Julio: "Want to come to the park with me?"
Me: -Shocked, since Josh left I have been by myself for a long time.- "Umm sure."

We rode to the park, and played swords for a good hour. Afterwards we rode all over town, to conner stores and bought snacks, to H-E-B and pushed baskets around, and to the washateria and played pac-man for several hours. Even now I consider this one of my happiest moments in my childhood.

Our friendship only grew from there, I got close to all of them. I would consider their house, my second home. Speaking of that, their house was a little spooky. They will always tell me about how they would see a man hanging from the doorway, and another man with half a face. Of course I never believed them, until one day.

I was hanging out at their house, one rainy afternoon, playing the ps2 when me and Julio heard a loud thump outside. We decided to take a look. Outside there was always a rug hanging form a string tied from two trees. It was there I saw the man with half a face. He wasn't doing anything, just standing there, staring at me. I could see his red flesh slightly hanging from his right check, parts of his pinkish brain was visible from the top half of his face. He stared intensely, I remained completely still, and Julio ran. I wasn't really scared, more worried. He had a face on that recked, "I know your little secret." Then he turned his head slightly winked, and started to do this terrible dry laugh, it started soft, and got louder and louder. I blinked and he was gone. Later that day I asked Julio if he saw the same thing, he said that he didn't and that no one in his house has seen any ghost ever. I asked everyone, they all told me that I was the only one see the dead.

Other than those series of events my fourth grade was lame, nothing really happened, expect that I went a whole year without losing a best friend. :) Progress.